Each December, the XLR8R staff takes a few minutes every morning to spout off about what we’d like to see wrapped up and under the tree come December 25. Editor Ken Taylor kicks off the 2008 edition of our 12 Days of Christmas series with a few words on why he’s ditched our local coffee shop and fallen under the charms of the Keurig Platinum B70 single-cup coffeemaker.

Dear Coffee Shop Up the Street:?

We need to talk. You know when I was away in Montreal a few weeks back? Well, this isn’t gonna be easy to say, but I met someone else there–and I think it’s time I started seeing other coffeemakers.

I’m sorry, but the moment I locked eyes with Keurig Platinum, I couldn’t resist her charms. Her sleek black-and-silver style and come-hither look had me the moment I walked in my hotel room door–and from there on out, it was magical. Whatever I wanted–a quick shot of espresso, a tall morning pick-me-up, a short afternoon java–she delivered the perfect cup every time, whenever I wanted and in any size I wanted. I was in love, and before I could even tell you, I was already telling my friends all about her.

Speaking of me and you: Remember that time that I brought my friends by your place? And it took you nearly 10 minutes to make three coffees for us? Gawd, that was embarrassing! Keurig wouldn’t dream of leaving me hanging like that; in fact, with her super-quick, quiet brewing prowess, she knocks out three single coffees in as many minutes. Whatever roast or flavor we desire comes so naturally to Keurig, as not only is she packaged with an assortment of 18 different coffees and teas, but dozens of our favorite companies (Tully’s, Ghirardelli, Caribou, Timothy’s, Van Houtte) offer their own roasts in Keurig-compatible K-Cups (the cute little grounds-filled cups that you drop into the machine, which kick out a brew in less than a minute and are easily disposed of with absolutely zero mess) at less than 50 cents a cup. And while we’re on the topic of mess, I’ve also said good-bye to paper cups, too! Think of the trees we’ll save now that we’re kaput.

As you probably guessed, Keurig’s here with me in San Francisco now, and yes, I’ve even secured her a position at the XLR8R office, where everyone’s taking to her quite nicely. The guys love the way her blue LCD and water reservoir light up when they walk in the room; and the girls can’t complain because she gets her work done quickly and efficiently, offering not just the usual high-end coffeemaker programmability, but also finer touches like brew size and brew temp–something your bitter pots could learn a thing or two about!

My friends all agree, too, that it’s best this way. Heck, they’ve already started hanging out with her younger sisters, Elite, Special Edition, and Mini, so it’s looking like we’re gonna have quite an interesting group for the holidays. Sorry you’re not invited, but it’d just be, well, you know… awkward.

MSRP: $199.95

Day 1: Keurig Platinum B70 single-cup coffeemaker
Day 2: Score! Merge Records: The First 20 Years
Day 3: Low Self-Esteem by Katie West
Day 4: New Balance 420 and PF Flyers’ Number 5
Day 5: Essential Art House: 50 Years of Janus Films
Day 6: Kenwood TT756SL 2-Slice Radio Toaster
Day 7: The Ghostly Box
Day 8: Pentax SMC DA* Series 16-50mm F2.8 and 50-135mm F2.8 DSLR lenses